- I'm fat
- Why don't I look like those other girls?
- Why don't I have a six pack?
- I want to be smaller.
- I want to be smarter.
- What is my worth?
- What is the point?
I hate myself.
All of these phrases have ran through my head more than once, and as much as I hate to admit it, its been on a very recent basis and yet again I have become my own worst enemy.
Constantly people are surrounded by judgement which is (in my opinion) why I think so many people aren't able to live the life they have always dreamed, and why dreams are pushed off to the side instead of being something that everyone is chasing. And this judgement is where self-doubt and self-hate can stem from.
As much as we can say " I don't care about anyone's opinions of me"- which is great, at some point in your life you have or will care about what one person thinks of you- maybe its the interviewer at a new job you would love to have, maybe its the boy you have always had a crush on...regardless, at some point you will care enough about another person that their thoughts on you will matter and you will care.
In my beliefs I believe that every person, every moment and every single thing that happens in your life happens at the time it does for a reason- even the shitty things. Because if you don't know what its like to feels like to be down in the dumps, how will you know when you are truly happy? I believe that hardship makes or break you, so don't let whatever you are going through break you, let it challenge you and let it create the amazing person you are.
The reason I bring these points up is because I found through my experiences that every time things got hard I made it worse on myself by becoming my worst enemy- until one day I said I was never going to do that to myself again.
Misery loves company... especially a miserable mind. It is so easy to stay in a negative mindset when it feels like your world is falling apart but by creating a negative mindset when you feel like everything in the world is attacking you become your place for sanctuary not your place for hate.
I have screamed in my car while ugly crying " POSITIVE MIND, POSITIVE LIFE" just to try to salvage one ounce of love and happiness and I can truly say that moments like that have made me who I am today; a survivor, which is exactly what you are too.
We are all survivors of shitty moments, shitty people, shitty mindsets but we are still here pushing through everyday better than the last.
Written by: Ashley Resch
Become your best friend not your worst enemy.